“Art Thou He that should come, or do we look for another?” Matthew 11:3
I like to read from “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers. Although he died at the young age of 43, he had amazing insight into and comprehension of God’s Word. I have to admit, I am older than he was when he passed, but even with all of the years I have been a Christian, I feel like a relative baby when it comes to his spiritual discernment. And even though I live in an age where I can glean knowledge from numerous spiritual giants, doubts still creep into my thinking.
Having a chronic illness compounds matters. Doubts of God’s goodness periodically assail us. This can make us feel unspiritual for even having such thoughts. But those thoughts are put in our minds by the enemy. It is what you DO with those thoughts that matters.
Remember John the Baptist proclaiming Christ to the world? In John 1:34 he says, “I saw, and bare record that this is the Son of God.” At that time, he had no doubt Jesus was the Son of God. But later John was thrown into prison, and we find him asking “Art Thou He that should come, or do we look for another?” John had been separated from Jesus for a time. He was also most probably discouraged. John knew that God could deliver him from prison. So why didn’t He? Just as you know that God could deliver you from your illness, when He doesn’t, does that discourage you?
Oswald Chambers did write about battling doubts, which leads me to believe he and other great Christians had the same struggles but overcame them. John consulted Jesus when he had those doubts, which is the example we should follow.
When you are overwhelmed with feelings of doubt, remember that God is aware of your doubts and wants to help. He promised never to leave you, and He will not make you go through it alone. You cannot trust your feelings, but you can always trust God.